In His Timing

As I was riding in the car this afternoon I sat in the front seat recalling the events of my last few days. All I could think of was God's timing and in part all I could do was question why his timing works the way it does. So here is some background. 
On Friday afternoon I was picked up by one of my best friends and a few other people from Cheyenne. We were all on our way to Jackson. Wyoming to join 16 other young adults from our diocese to participate in a retreat. When we arrived in Jackson we are greeted by great friends and total strangers. We began the retreat and Saturday morning we woke up and headed out for Grand Teton National Park where we would spend our day in the beautiful mountains at the Sacred Heart Chapel, a hidden gem in the middle of a beautiful scene. At the end of the day we would go back to Jackson and wrap up the retreat this morning. As the retreat is ending and we are loading cars I remembered my feelings about this weekend just a few days before. 
For the first time ever I didn't want to attend a retreat. I was coming up with every excuse in the book not to go. In fact, it took two of my good friends to convince me to do it. I remember as we sat at dinner a few weeks ago they told me to come if for nothing else than to hang out with them. Well obviously they eventually convinced me. 
At the close of the retreat 14 of us ended up going white water rafting. Let me tell you I was TERRIFIED!!  I'm not even sure why I was so afraid, I'm usually always up for an adventure. Well despite my fear we hopped in the raft and I surrounded myself with some great friends. As we rode down the river I would clutch onto the limbs of two of my friends (the same two who convinced me to come on the retreat). I'm not exactly sure what made me feel safe about holding on to these two people and sometimes tucking my head into one of their shoulders, but when I did this as we splashed around I felt like I was protected. When rafting ended we all went on to our own parts of the state. 
Our car jumped in and took off. We reached a point in the drive where I regained cell reception and naturally decided that I should check Facebook. As I opened the page the very first thing to come on my newsfeed was a post by one of my cousins. It read "RIP Aunt Evelyn...You were a blessing in so many lives! You will be missed by many!" As I saw that first post on my newsfeed all I could do was say "oh no" and let tears stream down my face. My heart sank, because even though I knew this was coming it didn't make things any easier. I called my mom and we cried together, we talked about the tea party we had with my Tia, we talked about how amazing this woman's faith was, and we sat in silence. After sometime we hung up the phone and I just sat there in silence, tears flowing down my face, staring out the window, and in some ways feeling bad that I just had such a wonderful day while my family were all grieving. 
It was in that moment that I realized why I was on that retreat. God knew that I would need to be surrounded by people who loved me when I received that news. God knew that although I could handle it alone, he didn't want to let me. God knew that I would need to clutch onto the limbs of my friends just as I had done a few hours earlier, because in that moment I needed to feel safe and protected. He gave me the gift of friends that might as well be family to hold me tight until I can be with my family. His timing confused me, until I really stopped to look. 
Tonight my heart aches because the world lost a wonderful woman. At the same time I find myself so thankful. Thankful that I was blessed with her in my life, thankful that she can enter into the fullness of the kingdom of heaven, thankful that she is no longer suffering, thankful that The Lord blessed me with an incredible family, and thankful that The Lord has given me such a solid group of friends that I can clutch onto when I find myself afraid or hurting. 

Our family is asking that people who pray would pray a rosary for the soul of my Tia. We know that prayers are power and that is one way we can honor her life. Please also hold all of us and others in this world who are grieving in your prayers tonight. God bless you and thank you for being the people we can clutch onto!! 

Best Cousins

 

When I was a tiny tike, well even before I was born I had this one cousin that would always be my protector, my punching bag, my advice giver, my support, and my strength. His name is Vincent and he is just a couple months older than me, so when I call him my punching bag I am referring to those few months when I was in the womb and my mom would hold him in her arms and I would kick the crap out of him. It was like I already knew that he would be my favorite and I was already telling him that I was going to be the boss. :) 

Well maybe I'm not actually the boss, but I'm sure he isn't either. What I do know is that he has been one of the most important people in my life for as long as I can remember. Well, for as long as he can remember because he has a stellar memory and mine is less than average. He is constantly reminding me of things we used to do together or things I used to say. Vincent has always been there to support my dreams even if they mean taking me further away from him (Just after he graduated high school he moved to Albuquerque, we had so many plans of how we would spend so much time together and then I moved to Wyoming for school. He never stopped pushing me to live my dreams even when they didn't work out in his favor).

In 23 years this friendship has only grown stronger. We now live 800 miles apart and see each other just a few times a year, but he is always there to run to when I need advice or when I want to celebrate something.

We have been making plans for our Cousin Trip to Denver at the end of the month. This will be the first time that we take a vacation together just the two of us. We are making so many sweet plans, and just getting to hang out with each other and be on a "grown up" vacation is super exciting. I love this guy so much and really cannot wait to see him in just a few short weeks!

Thank you Vincent for always being right by my side. I don't know where I would be without you in my life!