Suffering

Have you ever wondered why we suffer? A question that hasn't been far from my heart in the past has been, if God is real why would he let me feel this pain? If God is really there why would I have to suffer like this?

I think at some point in each of our lives we all have to experience some sort of suffering. Suffering is part of our humanity. Maybe our suffering is the death of a loved one, illness, financial struggle, loss of a friend, or maybe you feel like you're alone in this world. At some point you will experience something that may seem just too hard to handle. When that moment comes it is natural to ask ourselves those questions, but something I learned the hard way was that in the midst of asking those questions we also have to seek out the answers.

I have had a few moments in my life that I felt completely out of control. Moments where I wondered why God would let that devastation happen to me. Something I have learned through all of that is that when we suffer we never suffer alone, because Christ suffered first.

A few summers ago I was a Catholic Missionary for the Diocese of Cheyenne with a program called Totus Tuus. Our program for the older youth was focused completely on suffering. Each Sunday I would stand up in front of a group of new kids and I would pour my heart out to them. I would share with them one of these moments of suffering, I would share my shortcomings, and would conclude with the ways in which the Lord led me out of that suffering.

That summer in itself was one of great growth for me. I would have days where I felt this tremendous sadness because getting up to tell those stories each week just kept them fresh in my mind. Getting up and pouring out my heart made me feel so vulnerable, but at the end of the summer I realized that I grew so much as a person.

As I'm sure you know, my favorite musician ever is Matt Maher and one of my favorite songs of his is called "You Were on the Cross". One of the lines that just pierces my heart goes like this"Where we you all that I hoped for, where were you when all that I've dreamed, came crashing down in shambles around me? You were on the cross." I just find so much comfort knowing that in the hardest moments of my life when I feel truly alone, I get the chance to remember that I am not at all alone. See, we have a man who chose to die a horrendous death to show us that we would never suffer alone.

I know that this time of year is full of happy memories, but I imagine that it is also full of heartache remembering some of those moments of suffering each of you have endured. I hope that in those moments you will look to the cross and remember that you do not have to suffer alone.