"Empty and Beautiful"

I'm not sure if you've ever heard the song "Empty and Beautiful" by Matt Maher, but it is one of my favorites (well anything by this artist could probably count as one of my favorites). Lately I've been reflecting on this song and in particular one line of this song; "You fought the fight in me, you chased me down and finished the race. I was blind, but now I see. Jesus you kept the faith in me." Something that really struck me the other day when thinking about this particular line, was how often we are blind to the gifts and talents that God gives us. Well, at least I am. 

Recently I have started a new job, I am now Director of Youth Ministry and Faith Formation at the Parish I work at. Within one year I went from being responsible for the education of 6-12th graders to being responsible for the education of all ages. Praise God I do not have to do this alone. I have a wonderful assistant and a great team of volunteers. But over the last few months as we went from talking about this type of ministry to actually living it out I was filled with so much anxiety and doubt about my ability to do this. My common thought was "I'm only 23" I was terrified that at 23 years old I would be responsible for molding so many minds, I would be someone else's boss, and my biggest fear came from the fact that I would now be teaching people who are older than me. See, it was one thing to talk about running ministry this way, but it was a whole other thing to actually do it! I was and in some ways still am afraid. 

My comfort level lives within the realm of Youth Ministry. I spent 4 years in Youth Groups as a participant, I lived that life. I spent several years as a volunteer, I lived that life. And I spent one year working strictly with Youth, I lived that life. In the last year of work it was my job to go to football games, go swimming, go on retreats, attend mission trips, go on Pilgrimage to Italy, eat pizza and socialize, pray with teenagers, and to help them know the love of God. I LIVED THAT LIFE. Now, my job is to minister to the adults of this community, many of whom have experienced things in their life I never have. Some of them have lost a spouse, I have never been married. Some of them have battled serious illness, I have never been seriously sick. Some of them have lost children or have seen their children leave the church, I have no children of my own. I have not lived that life, and in some ways that terrifies me. What happens when someone comes to me and asks me to console and guide them on these things that I have never experienced?

I began to doubt that I was capable of this position, in some ways I even question what God must have been thinking when he chose me to do this job, and I was afraid to see what ministry here would look like after just one year of some "punk kid" calling the shots. Then I heard this song. "You fought the fight in me, you chased me down and finished the race. I was blind, but now I see. Savior you kept the faith in me." I was reminded that God was the one  who calls us to these great things. And in my case he called me to be responsible for education for all age groups. The title of the song is Empty and Beautiful, I truly believe that when we choose to empty ourselves fully for the Lord something more beautiful than we could ever imagine will be the end result. After thinking about this I have a little more ease about what I am doing as a 23 year old. I am still a little afraid, but I know that the Lord will give me the tools needed to be successful as long as I keep emptying myself for his glory. Just like you I am not in this race alone and it is great to know that we will always have at least one person who will never give up on us!!